At The Cross

When the Lord knew His departure was near, He went to the Mount of Olives, in a place called Gethsemane to pray. His soul was in anguish because He knew the suffering that was coming His way. As He was praying, His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. When He was finally sentenced to be crucified, full of sorrow, He carried His cross to Calvary. At Calvary, He was crucified and died. My Master was crucified, died and rose on the third day.

When Saul of Tarsus was on his way to Damascus to persecute the early Christians, he had an encounter with the Lord and His entire life was transformed. It was his zeal that led him to such horrific business that was even approved by the so-called Priests. They thought they were living in the light, but their entire life was full of darkness. When that brilliant light flashed around Saul, he could not see anything. He was blind for three days. He was later led by the Lord to a specific place where Ananias, a servant of the Lord was sent to restore his sight. Immediately after this, he began his ministry. This was the same man who was persecuting the Christians before; even when they were stoning Stephen to death, he stood there and gave his approval – (see Acts 8). However, he later became the teacher to some of those who lived and ate with the Lord physically. He died three days and rose from the dead; his life never remained the same again – (see Acts 9). We all know how he suffered and the great and wonderful work he did.

When the Saviour was going to the cross, His heart was full of sorrow. Oh, my friend, when you were going to the cross, how did you feel? Every child of God, every born-again Christian must go to the cross. If you haven’t gone to the cross, you are not born again. You’re not born again until you go to the cross. Christ was already beaten, mocked, and humiliated. He was already tired, yet, they placed that heavy cross on His shoulder to carry. The heaviness of that cross alone added to His pain and sorrow. Oh, His heart was full of sorrow! Excuse me brother, excuse me sister, when you were going to the cross, how did you feel? What happened to your heart? A man who committed so many crimes, was judged and sent to be executed could not laugh when the governor’s message came for his freedom. He could not laugh! For months, his soul would still be in anguish. Friend, what happened to you when you went to the cross?

Several times I was in Christian gatherings, sometimes in a big crusade. Whenever the preacher made an alter call, I would see people running. As they were running, they would keep laughing. Oh, my God! A man who had committed so many crimes would not laugh. All of us were once criminals pardoned by Jesus. I discovered that it was because we did not die at the cross that was why we could still carry so many pieces of baggage around. Definitely, we went to the cross, but we did not die. Until we are dead, we cannot be regenerated. Christ died and rose on the third day. Until we’re dead and rise again, we cannot be regenerated. It took me so many years before I could find out the mystery of the cross.

Some years ago, I was in a dream, and I found myself in a revival ground. It was rough ground, somewhere in Africa. The crowd was so large; the people formed a circle. The circle was broken because there was a road along that ground, and the circle continued on the other side. There was an Evangelist who performed unusual miracles. I have never seen him before, and I have never seen something like that before. It was exactly like what Jesus did. Instant miracles took place. There was joy everywhere because of what God did. Immediately after this scene, I was taken to another scene. Jesus appeared and began to teach those of us who were there. We were now few in number. There was a sick man who was tied with dirty brown bondage from his head to his toe just like an Egyptian mummy. He was leaping on his right leg. Jesus then said we were all like this man, including that Evangelist who performed those unusual miracles. We were all filthy, and that was why He came to die for us.

Excuse me, friend, how were you born again? Were you truly dead when you went to the cross? Alternatively, you didn’t go to the cross. Did you join the company of the saints just like that? There is no salvation without the cross. At the cross, you must be crucified. It was at the cross where every sickness, disease, infirmity, curse and all manner of problems were nailed. You too must go to the cross to be crucified like Jesus before you can receive proper salvation. It was because we were not dead; this is why demons are still tormenting many of us. Were you dead? Alternatively, maybe you stole your salvation, and whatever is being stolen will be taken away at the appropriate time.

The man who died and rose from the dead would not come back to live the way many of us live. All four Gospels tell us how Christ suffered and died on the cross and His resurrection on the third day. Were you crucified? There is no way a man would be crucified, died, rose from the dead and continue to live in immorality. Demon or no demon, once a man is dead, his entire being is dead. Once he comes back to life again, he will become a new creation as the Bible says in II Corinthians 5:17. Yes, old things are absolutely passed away only if a man went to the cross and died. You’re not born again until you’re dead.

You may obey all the commandments of the Lord, but except one, you are still not dead. If you are dead, you will obey all. There is no half-obedience. It is either obedience or disobedience. I used to know somebody whose life was rooted in lies. If you wake him up in the middle of the night, he will always have the answer to your question. He was properly trained in the school of lies. However, people forgot that liars only have one father – Satan. It was discovered that when you live in lies, cancer cells will grow in your body, and it’s just a matter of time; you may die of cancer just because you choose to live in lies and liars will only go to Hellfire.

I have seen people whose lives are rooted in excessive anger. This is one of the attributes of the marine spirit. An angry man may waste his time going to the cross. If he refused to die, he would come back the way he went. Many of us went to the cross truly. When it was time for us to be crucified, we refused. We said no because the pain was just too unbearable. Oh my God! We ran back, and we’re still the same way we were before. If you die on the cross, everything will die with you there. It is because we did not die; this is why we try to make God a liar. We did not die, and we still want all His promises to come to pass in our lives. No way! It will never happen. Go back to the cross and die. When you come back, you will see the difference. Friend, I’m just telling you now; if you like, accept it; if you like, refuse it. You are just wasting your time if you refuse to be crucified and died. You will lose twice because here on Earth, you will not enjoy what those who didn’t die like you used to enjoy and you will also miss Heaven. You better make the right choice now. Stop wavering from one kingdom to another. Stop deceiving yourself. If you want to be for Satan, be for him; nobody quarrels with you. If you also want to be for God, you must go to the cross before you can be accepted. Not just to go, but you must be ready to die there so that, when you come back, you will become a new man.

A man whose life is rooted in lies did not die. A man whose life is rooted in unforgiveness did not die. A man whose life is rooted in drunkenness did not die. A man whose heart cannot deny what his eyes see did not die. A man who cannot stop cheating did not die. It does not matter who you are. You can be a church leader. You know how you got there. You might have stolen it somewhere, and it will be taken away from you at the appropriate time. Go right now to the cross and get ready to be crucified. Make sure you die there before you come back. Until you’re dead and risen again, do not come back. Die and be regenerated properly. Stop deceiving yourself. It is because of all these that the church is no more what the Father planned it to be. Go to the cross and be crucified. Once you wait until you are crucified, death will come automatically, then resurrection. After you truly die and rise again, you will see how your spiritual life will be.

Pastor Radiant Ayowole Jesudairo
London, 29th March 2007, Revised on 27th August 2014 

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"Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon." Isaiah 55:6-7

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If a man breathes his last breath, his Spirit departs and continues his life elsewhere. Whatever life he lives here will determine his destination and how his next life will be.


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